Wednesday, April 28, 2010

~My "last" blog~


My first thought is...CeLeBrAtE but that can wait until after graduation I suppose :)

I cannot begin to explain the feelings that I have experienced while being in this class. I have learned so much that I didn't know before but what difference has it made? It has made a world of difference! I have a new view of knolwedge, life, love and most importantly time. And yes, of course I have Eliot to thank for that!

I have been memorizing my Eliot lines and am taken aback at how wonderful it truly is to have something so influential in my memory! While i still have trouble memorizing my whole section there are lines that have stuck in my head throughout the semester because they spoke to me in a way that I cannot explain but a way that was different- they connected. One line is "'go, go, go said the bird, Human kind cannot bear much reality" and another... "Love is most nearly itself when here and now cease to matter".

I have been a lover of Keat's Vale of Soul making but in capstone it took on a whole new level! I placed myslef behind those vales...something ambitious I had never thought to do. How does that change me? I feel more exposed yet also hidden by those vales. I feel like now there is so much more to be revealed to me in the future, though with the balance of knowledge from Eliot, I have realized I cannot wait for that future (of course because a brick may fall on my head) but now I am weary and am saying "knock on wood" because superstitions do that to me.

As I type, I find I am rambling because like my college education, I do not want to quit. Where will I go, what will I do when my last blog is finished?!?!?! It seems as if I am directionless and lost! But we have to eventually move on because this is the end and soon there will be a new beginning. Where? We do not know? When? Every moment is a new beginning in a way. Take it in, live it up, and calm down because we are all in this together!

The rain is falling from time to time lately and it fits the solemn mood. Sometimes I feel like crying and sometimes I feel like celebrating- whatever I am doing, I am in the moment. My thoughts are taking me to other places now though and I succumb to them and the emotions they leave me with. This is my end. I must now find my beginning. My sunrise and sunset.


Thank you to Dr. Sexson, such a wonderful semester in capstone! Thank you for the past memories and the present moments in which I immerse myself. Past, present and future. Thank you!

To everyone, you are all amazing! Truly...you have so much to accomplish and I am absolutely honored to have shared these experiences with you. I must say, Eliot...we did not miss the meaning or the experience here!

Good luck and I'll be seeing you.

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